As Valentines's Day creeps closer, more and more people ask me "J-monster, what should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, that will truly express the magnitude of my love?" and I, I always respond with the same answer, "Why, a Valentine's Day Octopod from Oopis Nein of course!" and then they say "Wow! Great idea! You are a genius!" and then I reply humbly, "I know."