Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
She Who Stamps is home to my favorite Christmas tree of all time and here is what you need to know about him:
"Sure, this tree may not be the prettiest one you've ever come across. Anyone can see he has wonky eyes and a huge underbite- and maybe even a chubby tummy- but don't criticize him! Christmas trees come in all shapes and sizes, and we love them. All of them. Yes, allllllllll of them, and that includes the zombie ones. We accept them- warts and all. And no, those aren't actually warts- they're ornaments. Okay, maybe they *are* warts, but they are also decorative. They're wartaments. Now stop staring. Seriously man, knock it off.
He is only 3.5 inches tall and made of wool- and you're like a zillion times his size. That being said, he is absolutely out to get you. I believe you can win him over though, so for your own safety, please make zombie tree feel at home at your place. I'd say start by not screaming and running from him. This will be difficult, of course, but I have a time-tested plan for you. Put him on your tree and tie him tightly to the branch. Knowing that he is securely fastened will help you feel more comfortable with his growling and roaring. Try to tame your fight or flight response a bit. Maybe back away slowly, smile and nod, be friendly-like. Eventually you won't even know he's there! Well, besides the heavy breathing and intermittent lunging, that is. But you know what- you get used to it.
Try altering some common Christmas song lyrics to make him feel more welcome. "Oh Christmas Tree" can become "Oh Zombie Tree" in a jiffy. I wrote some of it right here- wanna hear it? Here it goes!
Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree, please do not eat my family. Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree, they are very dear to me. To eat my friends would not be right, we want to live through Christmas night. Oh zombie tree, oh zombie tree, please take your creepy eyes off me!"
Monday, December 9, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
There's a new breed of monster in town! Let's let Pink Sprinkles Plush fill you in on what we know about them so far:
"Meet the Merry Monsters of 2013! These guys love to spread Christmas cheer throughout your home during the Holidays! They even have a little Santa Hat for extra festiveness and a small cute ornament to share with you. They can be found admiring your tree, tasting cookies, peeking at presents or sneaking eggnog during your Holiday party. They are very easy to take care of and their favorite treats are candy canes and hot chocolate. Adopt a Merry Monster and have an extra Merry Christmas!"
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Mamma Mayberry's is so cute you may not be able to resist the mistletoe itself! So hang him low, and give him a kiss on his sweet little berry head!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
What is a Mint Conspiracy you ask? Well, a Mint Conspiracy is the most delicious kind of conspiracy! But don't pigeon-hole them, they are not just delicious! In fact, this year Mint Conspiracy is poised to celebrate "A Very Creepy Christmas" and so can you! With Creepy Somethings, crazy ornaments and two sizes of Krampus's, there is no way you can fail to have the Creepy Christmas of your dreams! So head on over there now and tell them my Zombie Something (soon to be Zombie Something Ornament!) sent you!
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Last year the uber talented Squirrel Momma taught us about the christmas pickle and the good luck that comes to the individual who finds him upon the traditionally ornamented evergreen. This year she has raised the stakes with a disguised pickle, to add a new layer of difficulty to your little reindeer games! However, if you are still desperately looking for last year's pickle and are not ready to level up quite yet, she has many other delightful holiday accoutrements in stock, that she promises require no visual acuity skills whatsoever!
Monday, December 2, 2013
Well Christmas came early this year for sure! A couple weeks ago our friends at Planet Odd contacted me and said they may have a line on one of Roland's long lost brothers. I was so thrilled it was hard to keep quiet about it around Roland, but I wanted to be sure before I got him all excited (you know how he gets!) I figured maybe a DNA test would be necessary to be certain, but once I laid eyes on him I knew! I mean, look at how incredibly handsome he is! I was going to wait until Christmas to surprise Roland, but Mortimer here wouldn't have it (apparently it's not just good looks in that gene pool!) and the reunion was arranged ASAP! It was beautiful, with lots of jumping around and arm waving, as you can imagine! What a wonderful holiday Roland and his family will have now, thanks to the amazing Planet Odd!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Now that we've finished all that pie, it's time to get healthy with some fruit! Snail and Cicada's Mr. Avocado and Ms.Fig fit the bill nicely, since as you all know, avocados are a great source of healthy fat, and figs, well, figs... Hmmm, what DO figs have going for them?
Seeds! That's it, figs are full of all the seeds you could ever want, or at least that's how I remember them. Oh, and apparently they come in pretty handy if you are planning on painting a still life!